Nowadays I’m always freaking stoked about hockey because ZOMG TEEK IS BACK AND EVERYTHING IS WONDERFUL AND RAINBOWS.
While I’m over here being totes stoked:
Then @azherdattacks tells me BB Goalie is starting….
Yes you are tired of hearing about BB Goalie and the meltdowns…… STFU, IT’S HAPPENING.
Marty’s back! Teek is playing! BB Goalie is starting! AAAHHHHHHHH
Here’s the thing. Marty comes back and the Domi/Teek/Duclair line gets broken up? WHAT THE FRIG? Teek went back to the wing. Now, he can play anywhere, but with how great that line was doing and the consistent pressure they had, WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY.
He went from 17 &18 minutes in the previous two games to 13 minutes, 20 & 22 shifts to 16. NOT FUCKING COOL TIPPETT. When the game was on the line, Teek was out on the ice, but what a fucking downgrade from the previous situation. His backcheck and forecheck was on point tonight so I hope that the ice time starts to go back up. Calm down, I’m not going to Tonya Harding Marty.
OLLI BEAR SCORES!!!!!
The Isles left him alone in the middle of the ice. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YOU MUST BE NEW HERE. He isn’t just a Dman. He does the scoring.
The first penalty of the game was Frans Nielson. The next penalty was Mikkel Boedker. WHY ARE THE DANISH PEOPLE SO UNLAWFUL!?!?!?! CHEATERS!!!!!
End of the first period: Yotes 1, ASSHOLES SHOOTING THE PUCK AT BB GOALIE 0.
WOOOOOOOOOOOOO! The D was so much better, I wonder what motivated them?
Oh. I see. WHATEVER WORKS. One period of shutout hockey down, two to go.
SECOND PERIOD: I DON’T EVEN KNOW, I THINK I PASSED OUT BECAUSE CLUTTERBUCK HIT OEL AND I WOKE UP HOLDING A BASEBALL BAT……
Then Matt Martin tried to nail OEL and Olli breaks out his ballet and pirouettes away. CROSSTRAINING FOR THE WIN!
End of the second period: Yotes 1, ANTI-OEL roller derby-ers 0. Two periods of shutout hockey down, one to go.
Third period: I’M NOT EVEN REALLY SURE, THERE WAS A LOT OF CRYING AND CARRYING ON AND SUCH. There was a lot of chanting PLEASE DON’T FUCK THIS UP FOR HIM PLEASE DON’T FUCK THIS UP FOR HIM PLEASE DON’T FUCK THIS UP FOR HIM.
Clutterbuck took a penalty on Mikkel and can we just talk about what a complete freaking douchecanoe Cal is?!?!?!?! We started a movement.
That poor, poor garbage truck.
ANYWAYS, OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG SHUTOUT FOR BB GOALIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
First star of the game was BB Goalie. DUH. MORE LIKE FIRST STAR OF MY LIFE.
Second star was Olli Bear the goal scorer. BUT he also had two penalties that forced penalty kills that took like a good 7 years off my life. THE PAIN.
Third Star was Tobi. I may have found some protections that we can enact:
So basically everything is wonderful and nothing hurts. Except Mike Smith, but let’s hope he keeps hanging out on the DL for quite a while so BB Goalie can get his shot. I’ve been driving this bandwagon since 2010 and sometimes I just think: Visentin, hahahahahaha. #BBGoalie4Life