EVERYTHING IS HAPPENINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
THERE WAS MARTY GOAL. MARTY ASSISTS. TOBI GOALS. OMGGGGGGGGGG.
wait, why is Oliver on the…………….THIS IS NOT A MOTHERFUCKING DRILL, OLLI BEAR DOWN. THERE WAS LEAPING AND CUSSING AND THREATENING AND THEN………….. JOE.
Let’s start at the beginning.
I kind of slept through the first period. It started out really slow. Mike Smith was in goal so I was pretty busy girding my loins for a loss BECAUSE MIKE SMITH. But Tobi got a goal!
Tobias is my German homeboy! End of the first period, Yotes up 1-0!
And then Coyotes almost went full-Coyote. Tyutin and Wisniewski scored. Coyotes down 2-1. Wait, Wisniewski? REACHES BACK INTO LONG ASS MEMORY. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Now that we have that bit of business out of the way, UGH COYOTES, Y U DO DIS? Y U B SOOOOOOO BAD?!?!!?!?!?!? I was starting to regret buying tick…….
OMG OLIVER GOAL FROM MARTY AND IM DED!!!!!!!!!!!!! Europe for the win!!!!!!! Next goal, Gagner (gag me) FROM MARTY AND OLIVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AND THEN ADD IN A MARTY GOAL. MAR MARRRRRRRRRRRRR
IT WAS INSANE. ALL THE PUCKS! GOING IN THE NET! VIA THE COYOTES PLAYERS! IN THE OPPONENTS NET! Things actually going right!?!?!?!??!?!?!!?
Now, I was sitting in Row B. Oliver goes down our corner. I literally leap into the front row, standing on the seat, hands up against the glass, and thinking about going over the glass.
I feel that I handled it well.
I did not break blood vessels in my hand beating the glass (Prucha incident)
I did not stand up and scream GETZLAF YOU F@#@% C**KS****ER (Mueller incident)
LOOK AT ALL MY PERSONAL GROWTH.
Back to the game: OH MY CHRIST OLIVER IS DEAD. He was down. The trainer came out. Olli did skate off on his own, but he went straight to the locker room and SKILLE CAN GO STRAIGHT TO HELL. DO NOT PASS GO. DO NOT COLLECT $200. Fucker.
Olli came back at the start of the third period. Chipchura scored. Gagner scored again. Marty had another assist. I COULDN’T EVEN CHEER, I WAS STILL SO PISSED.
Hawkeye is getting thrown out of the new Avengers movie and being replaced by JOE. MOTHERFUCKING. VITALE.
GUYS. HE FOUGHT SKILLE. TO AVENGE THE OLLI.
Vitale stood toe to toe with Skille and was all:
i cannot. we don’t have like an “enforcer”. it somewhat stresses me out. olli chirps. he is good. he frustrates people much bigger than him. thus far, he has chosen to play without the bubblewrap i really want him to use. bad things are bound to happen. BUT YOU KNOW WHO YOU CAN FUCKING COUNT ON? THIS FUCKING GUY RIGHT HERE
Big Coyotes win. Oliver seems to be alive. Marty had 4 points. Joe avenged the OEL. MY HEART RUNNETH OVER.
Stud of the Game: Marty. Huge game. Deserves all the cookies.
New Supreme Overlord of My Soul: Joe. In some cultures, we are now considered married.
All-the-time Doghouse: Mike Smith. He did ok. He ‘improved to 6-15-2. Oy.
Our D May Be Sketch So We Throw Ourselves In The Path: Murphy had 4 blocks and Stone had 5. Z must be rubbing off on them!!!!
Lauri was announced as the starting center but took zero faceoffs. Uhhhhh ok?
This game made me actually WANT TO GO TO MORE GAMES! Whaaaaaaaaat?