OOOOOOOK, my battery is on 12%, I drove six hours today, it’s after midnight, and I’m way overly tired SO BUCKLE IN BITCHES, LET’S DO THIS THING.
We. Are. Bad. Like out of control bad. We had traction once upon a time and then whoooooooooooooooosh
We had no prolonged pressure tonight. Hell, we couldn’t even get it through the neutral zone 90% of the time. NO GOALS. All the goals are in Vancouver. Vrby is like the Goal Nazi. NO GOAL FOR YOU!
OMG quit being dramatic Coyotes, I know you work on stuff. But some stuff you cannot fix without…….. oh what is the word………. offensive prowess. You cannot have an entire forwards roster of grinders and corner-workers. Did I just call them hookers? ANYWAYS.
God Bless Doan, but when he is tied for the lead in goals for your team, you are in trouble. That isn’t his jam. Yes, he can do it. But he is slightly elderly and isn’t exactly Jagr or Teemu in the shooting department. Marty can score goals, but mainly on Mike Smith or when trying to show Vrby that he is an independent woman and doensn’t need Vrb, so that isn’t ultra helpful. I would mention Korps, BUT I FUCKING LOVE HIM SO BACK AWAY SLOWLY AND NO ONE GETS HURT.
The Flames aren’t terrible. In fact, the Flames are the new Coyotes of yesteryear. Brad Treliving took all the good GMDM mojo and flew the coup. If you had an above average goalie (O HAI HILLER) and some chemistry, you can blow things up. I am totally sad face that Feaster won’t be trying to out-crazy Sather with trades and signings. O THE GOLDEN AGE OF CRAZY ASS GMs. Oh and throw Burke and his truculence in there. I LOVE YOU BRIAN BURKE, DON’T EVER CHANGE.
So what now for the Yotes?
NO OLIVER, I WILL NOT CALM DOWN. I WANT THOSE TWO HOURS OF MY LIFE BACK. Not really, but there were these two drunk Flames fans in front of me and it was SO DAMN PAINFUL. STOP REPRESENTING CANADA IN A SHITTY WAY, DRUNK FLAMES FANS.
Alright, so let’s try to figure out some positives……. OOOOOOOOO, SHINNIMAN’S DEBUT GAME!!!!
You could tell Brendan was nervous and it was an adjustment to the NHL speed. I was hoping that he would carry on the tradition of scoring in his first game like Tobias and Justin, but hey, nobody else scored either so what can you really expect? He didn’t get grocery stick’d and had more TOI than the fourth line. 75% faceoff win percentage and no stupid penalties. LET’S COUNT THIS AS A WIN.
Also, I see you and that 80% faceoff win percentage, Martin Hanzal. After what had to be a rough, rough, rough couple days after his game-winning goal in the last game, Marty was alright tonight. I think he had his head held high, but I can’t really see without getting a freaking crick in my neck.
In other good news, it’s the end of November so those pornstar ‘staches can go. DO YOU HEAR ME OEL? THE SHAVING CAN HAPPEN.
We hit Edmonton and Calgary early this week and I swear to God, if we can’t beat the Oilers……… tune into the blog for more fun updates about the YOTES ROLLERCOASTER