What is the MMB Hat Charity you may ask. ….
BABY DANE. ALL THE GOALS. ALL THE DANISH GOALS. ALL THE HATS FOR THE DANISH GOALS!!!!!!!!
The speed. The actual shooting instead of passing. The success instead of potential. MIKKEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dude, OEL and I have been Mikkel fans since before it was cool to be Mikkel fans.
Boeds had two goals going into the third. The freaking Oilers pulled their goalie with about 18 minutes left in the period. Ok, like three minutes, but that is FREAKING CRAZY EARLY!!!! I mean it wasn’t like Scrivens was really stopping much anyways, but pulling the goalie that early? EAKINS IS CRAY CRAY.
It looked like the Yotes were gonna go the whole freaking three minutes with no empty net goal (and be ultra embarrassed) when it happened. Mikkel got the puck and had an empty net and the entire arena was all :
I was so freaking excited to witness his hat trick and just see how in the mother freaking zone Mikkel is. I cried legit tears when Doan got his hat trick. I was so happy for Baby Dane that I welled up a little bit. IT WAS DUSTY IN THERE OK?
Mikkel was obviously the first star of the game. With 5 goals just three games into the season, I have the feeling that Baby Dane will be a perma-star. Can we do that? Like, Mikkel is perma-#1 and you other biotches better be fighting for #2? I KNOW, LET’S NOT GET CARRIED AWAY, OEL IS STILL THE MOST BESTEST.
There were non-wonderful parts of the game. I still want to hot-glue Mike Smith into the net about 75% of the time. There were ugly defensive moments that led directly to goals. Thank God for the Oiler defense or we would have been screwed. I didn’t particularly love the third or fourth lines. In related news, the Oilers put four goals on us WITHOUT NUGENT-HOPKINS. NO BUENO. VERY NO BUENO.
But hey, Chipchura had a goal! So did Klink. So did Murph! So did the Czech that I don’t love and therefore will never be mentioned because he doesn’t deserve to share monikers with the most wonderful hockey player ever.
The hard part of the game? Boyd. BOYD! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! MY HEART!!!!! Boyd, come home. Your parentals dwell in Goodyear, why must you run away from home like this! You are wonderful and good and this is what I have to say to those who let you get away (mainly Mike Smith’s fat ass pockets, which I blame for the loss of Boyd, Vrby, the national deficit, and the spread of ebola):
It felt good to be back at hockey and especially since there were actual goals being scored. Who is gonna volunteer to keep up this offense explosion?
Also, if Mikkel has a killer year (which he will because it is a contract year and hockey karma hates the Coyotes), I will have great excuses to insert gratuitous Mads pics. Please hockey Gods, make it so.