I AM BREAKING UP WITH THE NHL. WE’RE DONE. IT’S NOT ME, IT’S YOU. WE NEED TO END THIS BEFORE IT BECOMES BLOODY.
JK. But seriously, the lockout needs to end. Not just for me. For the boys. Let’s check in and see what they are up to, shall we?
I FRICKIN’ MISS THE VRB. Vrb was over playing with the team he is a partial owners of and playing with his brother, but he’s back in town.
So what is Lauri up to?
Not much, playin’ some puck and being all famous n shit.
GUYS, FINLAND TREATS HIM SO MUCH BETTER THAN WE DO. We need to work on getting his face on a giant banner. COME BACK HOME LAURI, WE WILL DO BETTER!
Umm, he also stands by rivers and stuff in his spare times. Cuz that’s what you do in Finland. It’s a culture thing.
So, he also has been standing in a park. I’m telling you, it’s Finland, it’s a culture thing!
So far, everyone seems to be doing well and no one needs an adult.
And then, we have Marty.
Who clearly needs an adult.
HE ISN’T HAPPY. HAPPINESS = NOT HIM. I fear his lack of happiness is driving him to do self-destructive things……… such as:
AND THEN THERE IS THIS RIDICULOUSNESS:
MARTY. WTF. SERIOUSLY, WTF? FIRST YOU GET THE TATTOO THAT DOESN’T HAVE PROPER ENGLISH ON IT AND NOW THIS? I’M THIS CLOSE TO CALLING NANNY 911 ON YOU, OR WORSE…….. IM CALLING VRBY.
Now I know some of you are like
and some of you are like
but trust me, it’s like this:
See, we need hockey back, if for no other reason than I’m concerned that some slick Czech photog is gonna sweet talk ………. WE JUST NEED HOCKEY BACK OK?
BTW MARTY, WE DON’T SEE PICTURES OF OLIVER BEING RIDICULOUS. TAKE NOTES.