The first weekend or two in September are possibly literally my favorite weekends in the entire year. There is nothing I love more than having rookie and main camp. Nothing. You miss hockey all summer, it’s unbearable! Then, the kids come in and you get a chance to see what they’ve got on ice that isn’t utterly crappy, sorry Ice Den. You get to see pro tryout guys try to land a contract. I get to take beautiful pictures of Brandon Gormley. Then, the big guys come back. OMG MARTY. OMG OEL. OMG RADIM. OOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMGGGGGGGGGGGGGG Z!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU GUYS, Z! Z! Z!
So this post should contain an OBNOXIOUS amount of pictures of baby rookies (BB Goalie, Brandon, Darian, Kale………) with lots of CAPS LOCK and lots of !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!’s. Instead, you are getting this:
HEY FUCKWADS (NHL/NHLPA),
GET YOUR HEADS OUT OF YOUR RESPECTIVE ASSES AND WORK SOMETHING OUT. OWNERS, QUIT BEING SO FUCKING GREEDY. PLAYERS, TAKE A LOOK AT THE UNEMPLOYMENT RATE AND THEN CRY ME YOUR RIVER. I DON’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT EITHER OF YOUR SIDES AND YOU ARE NOT GOING TO SWAY ME WITH YOUR TWITTER BULLSHIT. PEOPLE WANT HOCKEY TO GET AWAY FROM THEIR PROBLEMS. SOMETHING TO DISTRACT US FROM THE ACTUAL SHIT IN THE WORLD THAT IS WRONG. INSTEAD, YOU GIVE US MORE SHIT TO BE PISSED ABOUT. A LOCKOUT OVER MONEY? PFFT. I’D GET BEHIND AN ACTUAL WAR OVER PLAYER SAFETY. MONEY? SERIOUSLY? I KNOW YOU GUYS ARE BURIED IN STUDENT LOANS…….. OH WAIT, NOT SO MUCH. AND OWNERS? JESUS H CHRIST, DON’T GET ME STARTED. PLAY. ENTERTAIN. KEEP US FROM TOO CLOSELY EXAMINING HOW CRAPPY OUR LIVES ACTUALLY ARE. DO IT SOON. DO IT NOW.
Ok, so Lucas isn’t exactly new, but he’s newly signed as an entry level contract. Lessio represents the best scoring prospect we have. We have other prospects that scored more goals (Shinnimin) and have nifty playmaking skills (Miele), but Lucas just puts the puck in the damn net. He can do it on a box, he can do it with a fox. He can do it on a breakaway, he can do it, yay, yay, yay. He isn’t known as a two-way forward (like every freaking other one of our prospects are), but we could use a goal scorer not named Brett MacLean. He’ll be in Portland this year.
We also signed our second round pick, Jordan Martinook. “They” compare his game to Milan Lucic. Meh. We will see. He’s bound for Portland this year.
********** back to my rant now:
You know who this lockout dicks over the most? The prospects who were trying to make the team …….BRANDON GORMLEY. When action actually resumes, he will have little time to really make an impression (not that he hasn’t already built a reputation of being a fucking stud extraordinaire). Do you think GMDM keeps Gorms with such a short look over known quantities like Schlem, Stone, or Summers? Doubtful.
What about kids like Evan Bloodoff and Jordan Szwarz? They could possibly wrestle the Non-BizNasty pressbox roster spot, but with such little time? Screwed over.
FINE, NHL/NHLPA. TAKE CAMP AWAY FROM ME. TAKE THE POSSIBILITY OF BABY ROOKIES AWAY FROM ME. FUCKING TAKE IT ALL, I DON’T WANT IT. GO DIVE IN YOUR MONEY BINS WITH SCROOGE MCDUCK. I’LL JUST SIT OVER HERE AND FIND OTHER THINGS THAT INTEREST ME. KEEP THIS SHIT UP LONG ENOUGH, AND THEY MAY END UP INTERESTING MORE THAN YOU AND YOUR DRAMA.
Honestly, I’m not even that excited about the possibility of a season. And that should have the NHL quaking in it’s boots. You know me. I’m freaking CRAZY about hockey. I’m a season ticket holder. I buy stupid amounts of hockey stuff. I tweet hockey 24/7. I have this friggen blog! I WENT TO EUROPE TO SEE THE OPENER.
If I, crazy fan, am feeling blah about hockey, the casual fans must be totally over it. Wanna fight over $$$$$$? What $$$$? There will be no $$$$.