Who Knew Good Defense Started With A Z?

Breaking down our defense shouldn’t be hard, as demonstrated by the Fuck Wings this April.   We already changed out some pieces and this summer should equate to less changes for our not-so-sterling D.

Do you miss us Z? OMG US TOO! COME HOME!

Where we were a year ago:  Z.  Oh God Z.  We were super worried about signing Z because he was a huge piece of our lockdown D.  And. We. Failed.  And then I laid on the floor and had ugly cry for 45 minutes.  Oh Z.  Last summer we were also looking to sign RFA Sami Lepisto.  Oakie quickly signed a two year deal, but that still left us with an opening due to the head-deadness of Kurt Sauer.  And we re-signed Dmo to a four year contract.

He got the rabies. It's time to take him to the vet and do the right thing.

Sami, why you wearing that jersey? Iz Halloween?

What happened this year:  Jovo ended up with broken face/broken family syndrome and did not play well.  Oakie was solid, but at times, his speed hurt us.  Dmo was lucky he signed a four year contract because his play was…….. something else.  Yandle had an amazing year until the All-Star break.  He was quite a bit more human for the rest of the season.  We traded Sami and got Rostislav Klesla.  Definitely not a flashy offensive guy, Rosti showed down the stretch that he’s dependable and very poor man’s Michalek.  We traded Wolski for Rosival.  While Michal’s contract is hard to accept, his play was good and being paired with Rosti made for good Czech communication.  With an injury and being in the 6th man rotation, Schlemko didn’t have a lot of pizzaz until the end of the year, but he showed up in the playoffs when almost no one else did.  Oliver spent his rookie year being fucked over by sitting in the pressbox.  Play the kid or let me (<– lol @ this typo.  him*) be somewhere he can get ice time.  What a waste.  Flashes of brilliance, flashes of being a rookie.

O HAI KLES!

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS CHILD? Yeah.... in the fucking press box wasting his time....

What’s the outlook this summer:  Jovo is gone.  He may have been signed for a hometown discount, but his injuries and signing Klesla sealed this deal.  That will open up 6.5 million (holy shit Jovo).  With Don Maloney saying our D looked old and slow in the playoffs, it makes me worried for Oakie.  God knows we’ll never get rid of Dmo and his huge, long contract so……  It looks like Klesla, Rozsival, Yandle (RFA), Oakie, Schlem/OEL.  Personally, if we had the money, I’d like to buy out Oakie in his last year or pay to have someone run over Dmo.   Then Schlem and OEL could have regular spots in the top six.

Oh kiddo, I hope it's better this year 😐 Also, please say that neckbeard was just in protest....

Ok, hold on, I’m gonna have a little soapbox moment here:  So OEL can have the third most ice time on the Swedish national team that received the Silver medal, but he can’t crack the top six of a team that was not defensively sound at all?  Really?  Fucking ridiculous.  So you sit him.  Then when he DOES get to play, he tries to hard and then gets benched for it.  Get your head out of your ass Tippett.  He’s got the speed and flair that people will pay to watch.  Diehards deal with your boring ass trap-like hockey.  Casual fans want bite, not 60 minutes of gnawing.

You buy me out....... ummm........ I'm a shootout master, I swear!

Ok, back to our regularly scheduled blogging……  If there was any way to swing it, I think GMDM would send out Dmo or Oakie and roll with what we have.  I don’t see bringing in any Dmen, as we don’t even currently have room for all the ones we have, even after electing to show Jovo the door and then laugh when he can’t fit out it because of his fat ass pockets.

If we get Schlem officially declared a wolfman, does he count as too many men? Also, OMG does he have sick wolf moves like Teen Wolf?!?!?!

In short:  Don’t expect any new D faces because we can’t unload ours.  Also, if GMDM packages OEL in a deal, I quit.

DERP

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One Response to Who Knew Good Defense Started With A Z?

  1. Carol says:

    I like this Czechs-loving blog, I really do 🙂
    Also, OEL was freakin’ good at World Champs! Though I felt fierce hate against him when he played against my boys… and won :/

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