Hit Somebody / Jersey Relationships / Pupdate

There are interesting people at every hockey game.  There is typically the guy that yells SHOOT the entire power play cuz he doesn’t understand shooting lanes.  There is the girl that has no freaking clue was offsides is.   And last night, I had the grand pleasure of sitting next to:

Guy That Yells HIT SOMEBODY!!!!!!!

Yes, ladies and gents, I was JUST that lucky.  This idiot yelled HIT SOMEBODY at least 25 times.  Hey douchebag, we’re up 3-1, the last thing we need is to take a penalty and give them a power play by going out of our way to HIT SOMEBODY.  I know you forked over the price of a ticket to live vicariously through these professional athletes because you have pent up domestic violence in your system, but they are professionals ya idiot.  They don’t come to the Safeway and scream suggestions at you on how to better stock the tampon aisle, do they? Imagine Jovo…. EXTRA ABSORBENT AT EYE LEVEL, THESE LADIES NEED TO FIND THEM QUICK!

Aside from one or two of the players, I think they know what they are doing!

THIS IS HOCKEY, NOT THE BALLET, HIT SOMEBODY!

Yep, he thought that Aucoin had confused the tight fitting jersey of Kopitar with a ballet leotard.

HIT SOMEONE, YOU’RE PLAYING LIKE A BUNCH OF PANSIES!

Oh no he didn’t.  OH NO HE DIDN’T.  Yep.  Hey douchebag, you want some violence?  How about I kick your ass?  WILL THAT SHUT YOU UP?

I just sat there, rocking back and forth, repeating over and over *we need his money*  *we need his money*  *we need his money*.

Hahahha Sami why you even look like this? Ahhhh I feel better. Laugh therapy courtesy of Dr. Lepisto.

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I am a connoisseur of the jerseys of somewhat obscure players.  For instance, I greatly enjoy the fact that I really think I have the only jersey of Korpikoski. I mean other than the jerseys that he actually wears himself.

You fools can fight for second, cuz I have the ORIGINAL OEL jersey in Phx

Thinking about the jerseys we see walking around the Job, the vast majority of them are Doan.  I mean, can you blame them?  He’s a one-franchise kinda guy.  You can trust him.  He will always be there for you.  Doan is the jersey relationship that you can safely marry yourself to.  I just don’t like to share my jersey with so many people!

Who has the second most jerseys?  Bryzgalov.  Bryz is the jersey relationship that is just so wild and crazy that you can’t help yourself.  You know there is a chance that he could leave you, but you just don’t care.  You think he’s worth the $165 of love and you brand yourself with his name.  Why you hafta worry about next year?  Iz game!  Will still be ploss 104 and not rainy whether I here or not.  I iz nice guy!

Those two jerseys for sure make up the lion’s share of the customized jerseys.

Michalek was a popular choice.  Oh Z.  Even I have two of your jerseys.  We thought he was like Doan.  We thought it would last forever.  But alas, the night before we were gonna make the long term commitment, the ownership gave him cold feet and he left us standing at the free agent alter.  Have no fear Coyote fans, you can still rock the Michalek proudly.  But Z taught us a hard lesson.  Even the players you think will last forever can leave you.

Oh Z. How I miss thee.

Case in point, Radim Vrbata.  Vrbata had his best season with the Coyotes and then chased money to Tampa Bay.  Vrby learned the hard way that no one loved him like we did and he came back!  So now you see Vrbata jerseys, the old style who originally loved him and the new style of who loved that he came back to us.  I have two Vrbata’s cuz I love him twice as much?

Derek Morris also had the leave & return.  Sometimes jersey relationships just go that way.

Then there are the people who get jerseys in anticipation.  Turris.  Boedker.  We rushed into this jersey relationship with young kids, before they were ready.  We placed all our hopes in them and now we have to wait for them to mature.  It’s ok, their jerseys, like wine, get better with time.  Just ask my Tikhonov jersey.

There is a smattering of Jovo jerseys, Upshall, Stempniak, Wolski, and Fiddler.  There are Prucha jerseys, but I’ve never seen one on a dude.  Hmm.  Seriously.

There are a couple of Aucoin (Ashley had the original).  Yandle is getting quite a few jerseys now that he quit trying to score on himself.  OOooh I even saw a Schlemko!

Bissonnette is becoming popular….. meaning notorious.  Pretty sure he wins the # of jerseys to amount of ice time ratio hands down.

There are other Hanzal jerseys and I’m glad he’s popular.  But with me owning 6 of them, pretty sure I corner the market not only on him but on Czechs in general (11 Czech jerseys).

Umm yeah , I have 6 jerseys of this dude. WTF?

Ok this is more accurate. 6 jerseys of this dude. Yeah, I'm paying attention, you can turn around sir.

I’ve seen a couple of Lepisto’s and at least one Pyatt.  I know there are Whitney’s floating around and some idiot made the Den chop off part of an L to make an Ekman-Larsson jersey because they didn’t have any hyphens.

Now that I have a Korpikoski, who does that leave without a jersey relationship?

LaBarbara, haven’t seen one of him.   Belanger, but he just got out of a messy relationship with the Capitals, he’ll need some time.

Who was your first jersey relationship with?  Unless it’s Doan, I’m guessing it didn’t last forevs……

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Rampage update:

Mikkel Boedker:  2-3-5 in 7 games

Viktor Tikhonov: 1-4-5 in 7 games

Matheiu Beaudoin: 5-4-9 in 7 games

Bracken Kearns: 1-5-6 in 6 games

Garrett Stafford: 1-5-6 in 6 games

Alex Picard: 4-1-5 in 5 games

Boeds and Teek looking good, but so are some of the other forwards.  GAH!  Our depth is stupid.  But we may need it at the rate that we are getting injured.

OR WE COULD JUST PLAY PRUCHA INSTEAD OF CALLING SOMEONE UP TIPPETT.  HOW ABOUT THAT?

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So I’ve had some idiots commenting on here and on my blog’s facebook page about the attendance.  OH WHY DON’T YOU TALK ABOUT ALL THE EMPTY SEATS.  TALK ABOUT ALL THE PEOPLE THAT WERE NOT THERE.

Well douchebags, I can’t control people going to the game.  So why talk about it?  All I can do is promote the team through my blog and casting a terrible light on the situation on my blog isn’t going to make more people show up to the games.  We need an owner.  Period.

So if you want to hear about how no one was at the game, go elsewhere.  Or don’t read my blog at all.  I don’t care which.

For the rest of you, come on out to the game Saturday at 6 to see Ray Whitney take on his old team in the Hurricanes.  I hear Eric Staal will be there.  I also hear that he has some brothers?  Who knew?

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Ugh talking about that crap always makes me crabby so to make me feel better leave you with a couple of pics from last night. Maybe I’ll get some more tomorrow night vs. the Canes.

If Pyatt stared at you, it'd be scary. I don't care what any girl says. Scary.

Vrby, never leave us again!

You can't creep on a creeper, eh Sami?

Dat guy over there's my Dad...... Yep! Korp's Dad was in the house!

My first picture of Howler to grace my blog..... and he looks kinda mangy.

Schlem felt VERY BAD about having to sit in the box. Don't cry Schlem!

Oh hey kid. Who knew I took pics of OEL?

LOOK AT ME SKATE BACKWARDS! WEEEE!

YOU'RE NOT WATCHING!!!!!

Eye on the puck. Good job superstar

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4 Responses to Hit Somebody / Jersey Relationships / Pupdate

  1. czechtacular says:

    can i be the original montreal aucoin 😦 lmfao
    (it makes its debut in a mere two days from now, can you tell i am excite? jshgoiusdhgaghiaogha)

  2. LALittle says:

    I laughed so hard when I read this! We moved seats to Club South this year, but for the past two season we sat next to this guy who would shout out the players name ex: “Hey Mueller, Be Somebody”. He’d do this with lots of players. What a tool. Very irritating.
    Also, I’ll have you know on Thursday night I actually saw three male species sporting the Prucha Jersey! Yay!

  3. Alex says:

    Last game I saw someone rocking a Kings LaBarbera jersey. First time ever a Kings jersey made me smile.

  4. David Cosand says:

    The mayor hath spoken.

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