Comeback Coyotes

Some things about the Playoffs are super different and some things are the same.

Same:

1.  When the Coyotes are down, they come charging back.

2.  Red Wings are douchebag extraordinaires.

3.  I want to maim people that mess with the Czechs.

Different:

1.  When we get flustered, we play the other team’s game.  Bad.

2.  I want to maim people that mess with ANY of the players, not just Czechs.  EVEN JOVO PEOPLE!

3.  Yandle is a motherfing SUPERSTAR.

Watchout Jovo, he might try to punch you in the back of the neck. It's his thing.

We lost.  Ok.  We split the first two.  We could have easily walked out up 2-0 and I would have been twitter-contractually bound to dance in the lil fountain at Westgate.  In white.  Lord.

Let’s review this clusterfuck:

HANDS OFF THE GOODS PEOPLE! (Red Wings jersey and Pens? REALLY PEOPLE???)

First period:

We scored first.  That means we win right?  YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!  Oh, the Wings wanna play the rest of the game just in case they could win?  Ugh. Damnit.  Ok.

Who scored?  Conn Smythe.  Oh crap, that is playoff lingo for Keith Yandle.  How did this occur?  Marty got an epic shot and it bounced off the goalie and Yandle buried it!

Yandle, living the dream. (If u goal between the uprights, it counts as 3 goals. New playoff rule!)

Czechs ❤ free affection

Yandle and Marty were soooooooo excited.  It. was. awesome.

Teamwork = finishing each other's sentences

We went into the first intermission up 1-0.  It was a pretty controlled period.  I felt good.

Second period:

SOMEONE SET OFF A CLUSTERBOMB.

Detroit scores.

Wolski says kiss our ass Detroit!

So excited, he forgot where he was.....

Detroit scored again.

Lombo says kiss our ass Detroit.

Doan protecting our ass....ets.

Turns out Detroit was really pissed about Doan not letting them steal Lombo, and they score to close the period.

First intermission: 1-0.  Second intermission: 3-3.

WTF?

Third period:

Clusterbomb part II

The Dead Wings score.

Then. It. Happened.

Shane Doan, who has lead us through the desert of despair, scores.  Status: Excite.

ZOMG!

I AM DOAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m not gonna lie.  I cried.  Actual tears went down the cheeks to the point that the dude next me to asked if I was ok.

Dude.

Shane Doan has been through so much shit.  He has had to deal with media.  He has had to throw this team on his back so many times.  He is such an exemplary person.  No one, NO ONE deserves elation more than Shane Doan.  To see him so excited was almost better than the win.  True story.  And he hit a lotta people too!

Franzen says we didn't really hit anyone. Obviously he's concussed.

Yeah we didn’t win.  But the drive, the push, the continual comebacks bodes well for us.  We’ve won at the Joe this year.  We can do it again.  Then it’s back home to the Job.

MVP:  Jesus Doan.  He had a goal, an assist, and made me cryface.

Standout performers:

Lombo:  Guess who has two thumbs and showed up for the playoffs?

No Lombo, TWO THUMBS. Close enuff. ❤

Yandle:  Kid, who knew you would motherfing money in the clutch?

Wolski:  You are the new Stempniak.

Doan:  Duh.

Marty:  You played bigger in this game.  More hits.  Was it because I made the KILL! KILL! KILL! sign?

Not my shining moment:  Stuart was all over Hanzal all night.  Talking shit.  Shoving him.  General prickishness.  So when he got in Marty’s face, I may or may not have stood up and screamed Stuart I’ll fucking kill you.  Closer to the may side.  The kid behind me goes: Wow, she’s hardcore.  The dude in front of me says, You go girl!  The dude next to Jessica said I made his night.

Umm, I was serious people.  Watch ur back Stuart, I’m in guerilla mode.

Gratuitious Czech Picture

Red Wings can't win a clean game.

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