We were BY FAR the most active team at the trade deadline.
What a terrifying day. Thankfully, I had planned ahead and stashed all the Czechs in a secret, underground bunker for safe keeping. I accidentally let them out 15 minutes after the deadline, foolishly thinking the worst had passed. When the trades kept coming, I had to quickly herd them back into the bunker. It actually wasn’t that difficult. I just had to chase Vrbata in and the rest came flying in to protect him. 😀
With all these trades, I will start out with the most important part.
Mueller is gone. I know he needs a new start, but I’m sad to see him go. Such a classy kid. My first jersey. My first sign. My first random meeting in a bar.
And to anyone who is talking shit about him, shut the fuck up. You can try to comment from the outside, but you’re just being a douche because you don’t know what was really going on. Much like Teek, I will roll with this kid ’til the wheels fall off.
Muels, I hope you score a hat trick against us every game from now until you retire. The silver-lining in all of this is that you not only get a fresh start, you also get to be free of any unpleasant Shrek type characters that Phoenix possesses. Peace be with you.
What we got:
Derek Morris: Not sure how I feel about this, just because he had some interesting things to say after he left. We forked over a 4th round pick for Dmo.
Wojtek Wolski: You’re big and European. I may grow to love you. We shall see. As of now, you are not under the umbrella. Muels and Porter (AHL) went to the Avs.
Lee Stempniak: An American 22 year old. Are you the new Mueller? Matt Jones (AHL) and a 7th round pick went to Toronto.
Petteri Nokelainen: You are our third Finn. Are the Finns trying to overtake the Czechs? NEVER! A sixth ground pick went to the Ducks.
Alexandre Picard: We sent away Porter’s buddy Chad Kolarik (AHL) for you. Can you get your crap together? He’s going straight to AHL.
Miika Wiikman: Awwwwww hello token Ranger trade! And a goalie, of course! We gave the Rangers a seventh round pick and Anders Eriksson for this lil goalie that has a haircut like Kate of Jon/Kate plus 8. Eek! Uppy, fix this!
Mathieu Schneider: Sean Zimmerman (AHL) and a pick go to the Canucks for this geezer 😛
What it all means:
Fuck it, we’re going all out for the playoffs. Muels, I’ll see you tomorrow nite when we play the Avs and I will yell for you.