I Wanna Be A Hockey Rumorist!

I just love hockey rumors!  Let’s all get super excited and spend our leisure time talking about something that probably isn’t going to ever happen!

Better yet….. some cool ass kids make it their entire existance!  They make a hockey rumor twitter account…. just to report rumors because they have inside contacts that they get secret information from!  They break stories before real hockey insiders like Darren Dreger.  They really know what the 411 is and have their finger on the real pulse of the NHL.  They can pick out that 21 year old kid who is having a rough year and they know before anyone else that he is going to be traded.  They can splash his name around for months.  And it turns out they were right…he gets traded!

Oh wait no, that that is a rumor.

Here’s a badass idea for you.  Get a real job.  Go to hockey games.  Be a fan like the rest of us without pretending to be important.  Quit stirring the pot just to get attention.  And those names you’re splashing around?  They belong to real people.  Do they belong to people who make quite a bit of money?  Yes.  Does that mean you can have a hand in making their life  more difficult without guilt?  No.

I have cleansed my twitter from you idiots and here is my parting shot.  You don’t look knowledgeable, you look like a desperate poser.  You are to twitter what Bleacher Report is to websites.  Fact.

Here is my rumor:  The Rangers are looking to acquire @yotesgurl and are willing to trade @somelikeitblue.

Thank God I have a no movement clause.

Here is something that is NOT a rumor:

Viktor Tikhonov will rejoin the Phoenix club in March when his Russian season ends.

THE CHIPMUNK IS BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK...... Soon.

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2 Responses to I Wanna Be A Hockey Rumorist!

  1. Kerri says:

    How’d you get the inside scoop about me?

    Am I having a rough season or something?

    Why do I always have to be mentioned in the rumors?

    Why does Sather covet you more than me, anyway?

    Well. Sather IS an idiot. =P

  2. yotesgurl says:

    Lol you bizzo. I think he’s had it in for you since he started sitting Prucha

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