Holy crap this game was emotionally taxing. Lots of exciting goals! Two fights. Injuries galore. OMFG.
1. Jovo from Lang and Lombo ~ Jovo! Redeem yourself! No Jovo, not Radim. REDEEM.
2. Lombo from Doan and Lang ~ BO!!!!!! Bo was moved from Center to Winger for this game. Apparently he likey.
3. Lombo from Vandy and Doan ~ BO!!!!!! Apparently you likey winger WAY MUCH!
4. Vandypants from Lombo and Hanzal~ VANDYPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANTS!
5. Radim from Lombo ~ Radim broke away and made that goalie his bitch. RAAAAAAAAAAAADIM!
6. Lang from Pyatt ~ Pseudo!!!! You hadn’t scored since before Xmas! It’s almost Valentines Day. Are you only a holiday scorer???
Ok that’s all the good crap. HERE COMES THE CRAPPY CRAP!
My signs were psychic:
Penner high-sticked Marty in the facial region. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph hasn’t Marty’s face been through enough this year? SERIOUSLY? Can’t we catch a goddamn break? PLEASE? So we got a four minute power play and we sucked. MARTY BLED FOR THIS POWER PLAY GODDAMNIT, GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER! So Marty has another cut on his face and there was already a huge yellow bruise by the third period. It’s not gonna be pretty.
Penner. I see that you were too much of scared little bitch to meet me in the parking lot for your beat down. Big scary man afraid of me? That’s right. You should be. I have a long memory slick.
Pru! Renney is not Czech for Comrie. I think Comrie called Pru an Eastern European and Pru was like “Vanna go?” and throws off his helmet like the bad ass motherfuuuuuuuucka that he is! Then they kind of spin. Then Pru throws a punch…. and misses. But he threw one that clocked Comrie good and then they fell down! Pruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Hun, when I make you signs, you can’t take them literally! Except when I made you that “Prucha : Goal Machine” sign. That can be literal. GO!
Vrby ❤ He skated over and smiled. Cuz he’s Radim!
MVP ~ LOMBO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It’s like Uppy and Lombo were both crammed into Lombo’s shell!
Most Improved ~ Lang!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A goal and two assists. I ate the chicken Langer, I ate the chicken.
Tip for Tippett ~ Please remind Jesus that he can heal himself. If he wants to fix Marty’s face while he is at it, I’d be much obliged.