We Ain’t Afraid of You Jaws

I haaaaaate the Sharks.  Thornton, Setoguchi, Heatley, *hurl*.  They are so damn smug cuz they alway go to the playoffs.  Well, the playoffs have made it very clear that they don’t want you, Sharks.  The playoffs just wanted to be friends, but you took it too far.  You come back year after year and playoffs kick you out right away.  Playoffs might have to get a restraining order again you Sharks.  You’re not wanted!  Deal with it!  Now the Sharks are all jealous because Playoffs are starting to flirt with the Coyotes cuz we’re the hottest team in the league right now.

Those Czechs are magical

How worried were the Sharks about the Coyotes game?  Well, they started their backup goalie.  Douches.  We can score on backup goalies, it’s the open net we can’t hit.  Get it right.  There were two or three scoring chances that the Coyotes had where literally everyone was standing up and ready to yell.  Doan had a sick chance and at a pretty much open net.  Can we pay off a goalie to let Doan score once so Jesus can have a happy birthday on Dec 25th?  Please?  I know some of your goalie asses are poor.

Two bodies.... one brain? Vandypants be the voice of reason. That can't be good....

The Sharks actually broke up the Heatley/Thornton/Marleau line.  I guess there really is such a thing as self-awareness about too much douchebaggary.  Guess who shut down Thornton….. MARTY!  He owns Thornton.  He makes Joe cry like a little girl.  He’s really nice Joe, I swear.  We had good control of the first period until about halfway through.  The Sharks had a long shootout and flight the night before so maybe they needed some time to their their legs… fins…. wtfever under them.

Uppy has a new idea for defense.... scare the goalie? Very scary Uppy. The goalie quaketh

The second period we hit out offensive stride.  Damn, who knew we had one of those and where have we been storing it?  Do we have full custody of this stride or only have visitation rights?  Who scores first?  VRBY!  WOOT!  Vrby, that’s two goals in two games.  I think you are starting to kick the ass of your slump.  Can you kick the ass of Mueller’s slump too?  The second goal goes to………. Pseudo!  Finally!  You had like 243 scoring chances in the LA game.  It was only a matter of time before the puck hit the net for you Lang.  Oh, and Sami loves you!

Sami also suffers from Mad Czech Love. It's contagious.

The third period.  Umm.  I haz no clue.  We met some super cool people sitting in front of us and I jabbered with the guy for like the whole period.  I’m so bad, talking about fantasy hockey and stuff while the real hockey was being played out.   Vague memory summary:  We didn’t score.  Bryz had a shutout until Vandypants got some bogus ass penalty and we had 5-3 hockey.  Sharks scored.  Not Thornton, not Heatley, not Setoguchi, so I guess I can live with it.  The Sharks had way too much prolonged pressure at their end and it made me want to pull my hairs out.  Not a good look for me, so thankfully the Sharks didn’t score again.

Headless goalie issues.

MVP of the game…… GAH!  Vrby-Lang.  Mad Czech scoring love tonight.  No one else really stood out so you get to share it.

Most Improved ~ Fiddy ~ Fiddy you kept jawing at the Sharks and I totally thought you were gonna pick a fight so you could beat someone’s ass again.  You rebel.

I need more…. Doan.  Again.  I need Angry Doan.  Shane, did you hear that the Red Wings all steal toothfairy money from under the pillows of sick children?  It’s a fact.  GO KICK THEIR ASSES FOR THE SICK CHILDREN DOAN!  AVENGE THEM!’

Such a nice guy! Too nice! Someone punch his horse to get him all mad

So tonight was a cool nite for sure.  Pretty sad that the boys are headed out on a four game road trip.  I’ll actually have time to like do laundry or clean.  Damnit!  Can’t our entire schedule be home games?  The freakin’ NHL owns us……. it could happen.   And I leave you with Poor Schlem.  I don’t think that guy even bought him dinner.

Hockey Fights Cancer continues..... a false positive test.....

Gratuitous Czech Picture

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6 Responses to We Ain’t Afraid of You Jaws

  1. Pingback: Hockey » Blog Archive » We Ain't Afraid of You Jaws « The Good, The Bad, The Coyotes

  2. exceptional paint commentary. i always laugh but this time twas for quite a long time :)))
    mad czech love, i gots it too~

  3. Kels says:

    You are making me laugh, as always. Sorry I missed the game, but I ….Tivoed it to watch..um today! 😉

  4. Marissa says:

    That wonder twins picture is epic. It goes 15, 8, 15, 8. That’s pretty damn cool… ok maybe I’m the only one who thinks that.

    and uh… hate to burst a bubble cause it was Heatley that scored. I wish it was Dan Boyle.. I thought it was him at first. Well actually I wish Bryz got his deserved shutout but y’know what I mean…

  5. yotesgurl says:

    I realized Heatley scored after I wrote it. Damnit! Goes to show you how much attention I was paying to the game. Oops.

    Screw you Heatley!

  6. Jenna says:

    See what happens when we dont pay attention to the game? The other team scores.

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