I have found my future husband at hockey! However, contrary to everything that would make sense, he doesn’t PLAY hockey. In fact, he looked like he had no fucking clue as to what these men were doing on ice without rhinetones on. And he had a blanket. But I love him. I’ve decided his name was Chris. He was wearing a blue button down shirt and khakis ….. on a Saturday night…… to hockey….. with a blanket……. a plaid blanket. I think this means he’s an accountant, but he also secretly psychic. Who knew I’d marry someone who seemed unable to emote anything other than consternation and confusion. He didn’t seem to be a happy person. Poor me.
In other news……………….
We won!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was a typical Coyotes game. Dman scored. Lots of penalties. Prucha got robbed.
So the NHL bought us and now we don’t even need to actually score goals in order to get goals. I like this new development. With an empty net, Douchebag Pronger hooked Doan, which would have resulted in a penalty shot. Since there was no goalie, the goal was automatically given to the Yotes. I saw that Doan should have taken the penalty shot with no goalie because maybe it would breed some confidence for him in penalty shots since he’s like never made one.
Lombardi scored. LOMBO!!!!!! I missed you! Uppy missed you too. There was no one for him to play catch with during warmups. You scored a goal (4th of the year) and got an assist (4,000th of the year) and got what star? No star. Screw that. You’re the number one star for the game for me Lombo. Welcome back.
Yandle. Jenna and I yelled YANDLE! at exactly the same time. Within a minute of that syncronized outrage, Yandle put one in the net. Just when I wanna ship you off to Boston, you do something good. You hit it Yandle, you hit it Wicked Hawd!
Vrbata. No big news from the game. However, I noticed, for the third time, during warmups, that the tag on Vrbys shirt is always sticking out and it’s pink. Tough guys wear pink. Vrby’s badass! Home record when Jenna rocks the Pru and I rock the Vrby for the whole game 1 win, 0 losses.
Prucha. Oh Pru. You give the boy a sign and he gives you something in return. 12 pucks? No, Marty still is #1 there, but Pru gives winkage. Pruuuuuuuuu!
Sami ~ Why do you keep ending up in the box? I know you need short naps because you’re not used to all this skating/cowboy nonsense, but you don’t need penalties, you just need to tell tippett that you need a nap.
Z ~ I miss you. Maybe Shane Doan/Jesus will touch you and heal you. Can’t hurt.
Schlemko/Heshka ~ I may be totally off, but did you guys get lost on the way back from the locker room after the second intermission? Where were you?
Too tired for a good blog, so this is what you get. The End.