I Say, Zip Up Your Pants, Sir!

z7

 

I AM BREAKING UP WITH THE NHL.  WE’RE DONE.  IT’S NOT ME, IT’S YOU.  WE NEED TO END THIS BEFORE IT BECOMES BLOODY.

JK.  But seriously, the lockout needs to end.  Not just for me.  For the boys.  Let’s check in and see what they are up to, shall we?

I FRICKIN' LOVE THE VRB.

I FRICKIN’ LOVE THE VRB.

I FRICKIN’ MISS THE VRB.  Vrb was over playing with the team he is a partial owners of and playing with his brother, but he’s back in town.

VRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRB

VRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRB

gif17

So what is Lauri up to?

Not much, playin’ some puck and being all famous n shit.

HE HAS HIS FACE ON A GIANT ..........OMG I NEED THAT

HE HAS HIS FACE ON A GIANT ……….OMG I NEED THAT

GUYS, FINLAND TREATS HIM SO MUCH BETTER THAN WE DO.  We need to work on getting his face on a giant banner.  COME BACK HOME LAURI, WE WILL DO BETTER!

Umm, he also stands by rivers and stuff in his spare times.  Cuz that’s what you do in Finland.  It’s a culture thing.

hanzo7

Boeds?  BOEDS!

hanzo11WHATCHA DOIN’ MIKKEL?!?!?!  Boeds is also still in Finland, but with no faces on banners, that I have found.  Pretty sure Denmark is working on getting his face on the national flag, so there’s that.

So, he also has been standing in a park.  I’m telling you, it’s Finland, it’s a culture thing!

Stand in front of the leaves....... yeah, that looks good

Stand in front of the leaves……. yeah, that looks good

 

Gratuitous Mads Boedker picture.

Gratuitous Mads Boedker picture.  <3

So far, everyone seems to be doing well and no one needs an adult.

And then, we have Marty.

Who clearly needs an adult.

HE DOESN'T LOOK HAPPY DOES HE?  TELL ME HE DOESN'T LOOK HAPPY

HE DOESN’T LOOK HAPPY DOES HE? TELL ME HE DOESN’T LOOK HAPPY

HE ISN’T HAPPY.  HAPPINESS = NOT HIM.  I fear his lack of happiness is driving him to do self-destructive things……… such as:

TAKE WAY TOO CLOSE UP OF PICTURES.  BACK UP CHILD

TAKE WAY TOO CLOSE UP OF PICTURES. BACK UP CHILD

AND THEN THERE IS THIS RIDICULOUSNESS:

DO UP YOUR PANTS SIR.  AND FIND A SHIRT.  I BET YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE SHOES ON.

DO UP YOUR PANTS SIR. AND FIND A SHIRT. I BET YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE SHOES ON.

MARTY.  WTF.  SERIOUSLY, WTF?  FIRST YOU GET THE TATTOO THAT DOESN’T HAVE PROPER ENGLISH ON IT AND NOW THIS?  I’M THIS CLOSE TO CALLING NANNY 911 ON YOU, OR WORSE…….. IM CALLING VRBY.

Now I know some of you are like

gif8

 

and some of you are like

O.M.G.  COULD IT BE TIME FOR THE RETURN?

but trust me, it’s like this:

zomg

 

See, we need hockey back, if for no other reason than I’m concerned that some slick Czech photog is gonna sweet talk ………. WE JUST NEED HOCKEY BACK OK?

THIS LOOKS WEIRD

THIS LOOKS WEIRD

BTW MARTY, WE DON’T SEE PICTURES OF OLIVER BEING RIDICULOUS.  TAKE NOTES.

gif18

 

 

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