Please Portland Pirates, Plunder Plenty O’ Players.

Changes, they are a happenin’.  With the dissatisfaction with our San Antonio daycare, the organization decided to move our babies to Portland, Maine.  Yes, it’s a bigger detour dropping them off and picking them up on the way to work, but San Antonio’s field trips were too numerous and the kids didn’t get enough practice.  What use are dumb kids?  Not much.  Portland has experience teaching the babies how to not suck and the travel is so much less that they gained a ridiculous number of practice days (like 70).

We need to change the AHL to more like street racing.  If you beat a team, you get the pink slip to one of their players, cuz our roster is hurting.

Now it’s very early, but I’m about four seconds from hitting the panic button.  Why?  Well, Portland is going to have to be in EXCELLENT physical shape, because they are going to roll three lines.  By choice?  Nope, we only have 9 forwards under contract (assuming Mac, Boeds, and Teek are full-on Coyotes).  Five of those 9 forwards are Centers (Werek, Miele, Buldoc, Bernhardt and Long) and THAT is a assuming that Long and Bernhardt make the jump from the ECHL to AHL full time.  Oh man.  Oh, we have 10 forwards if we sign RFA Marc-Antoine Poiliot, the Norfolk kid we traded a pick for at the draft.  But HE’S A CENTER TOO.  Literally more than half of our AHL forwards are centers.  :|  Who is the planner of this situation?  Cuz we need to have a talk.

Current Forwards under contract:  Ethan Werek, Colin Long, Brett Hextall, Mat Watkins, Alex Buldoc, Mat Beaudoin, Justin Bernhardt, Jordan Szwarz, Marc-Antoine Pouliot, and Andy Miele.

In theory, Teek could stay down as a winger (and I will be pissed off at Tippett, per usual) and we could bring up some forwards from juniors.  Our Juniors forwards that meet the age limit for the AHL are: Bloodoff and Dziurzynski.  Our free agent invitees to camp that fit the age requirements include: Matt White, Scott Fleming, and Spencer Bennett.

I guess we will see how that shakes out.

Our D will be fine.  Under contract we’ve got Goncharov, Stone, Summers, Stafford, Oystrick, Arsene and Eckford.  Oystrick, Arsene and Eckford just got signed this summer so you have to assume they’ll be AHL bait.  That leaves Brodeur, Ross, and Weller to go back to the ECHL, wherever that is going to end up (we’re looking at Leaving Las Vegas).

Our AHL goalie will be Curtis McElhinney and he’ll be backed up by Cash Money.  Well, his actual name is  (OMG I JUST REMEMBERED WE SIGNED BOYD GORDON, IM SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!) ………. Jason Bacashihua.

BRB getting a lotta singles

Other than our D being pretty ok, I think the rest of the team right now is a crapshoot.  With so many new pieces, so many inexperienced pieces, and an entirely new gameboard to play on……. I DON’T EVEN KNOW MAN.

/headdesk

 

 

 

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