Hat Tricks: Get ‘Em While They’re Hot

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OLIVER, IT'S A TRAP, DON'T GO IN THERE! THEY'LL SHOVE YOU IN A VAN AND TAKE YOUR TO THE AIRPORT!

Games without OEL:  2

So, still hockey hung over from last night’s epic battle, I headed back to the Job for the game vs the Blues.  (Heeeeeeeeeey to my twitter BFF and American Hero Erik Johnson!)

Vrbata started the night off right.  With a goal.  Like a boss.  Cuz he’s a stud.    Yes.

Vrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrby <3 Hi Vrby =)

And the Blues tie it.  Crap.  We need some momentum back……

Bizz?

Bizz has epic beatdown of Cam Jansson.

Speaking of which, Cam Jansson, I still fucking hate your guts from two years ago when you took a flying elbow at Z.  Awww, Z.  I miss Z.  Revenge is a dish best served cold Mr. Douchebag Jansson.

End of the first ~ Tie game.

What could possible cause this sugar-sweet pose? PS ~ I hate the Under Armour mouthguards

Ray Whitney finally gets a goal!  Whew!  You’re still in the doghouse Ray.

Then David Backes kicks a goal in and they count it.  DUDE.  IT WAS A CLUSTERFUCK OF EPIC PROPORTIONS CUZ IT WAS A MASS OF HUMANITY IN FRONT OF THE NET AND THERE IS NO WAY THE REF DIDN’T LOSE SIGHT OF THE PUCK AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND HE KICKED IT IN.  KICKED.  KICKED. KICKED. FREAKING EH.

Tie game.  AGAIN.  Ugh this is unbear……

Ray Whitney scored.  On the power play.  Now he’s just sucking up.  RAY, YOU ARE STILL IN THE DOGHOUSE.

But AJ, I make Marty so happy! See the smile?

HOW DARE YOU USE HANZAL AND HIS HAPPY FACE AGAINST ME!!!!!

Then. Marty. Scored. Assisted. By. Radim. Motherfreaking. Vrbata. On. The. Power. Play.

And. I. Died.

Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrty!

Czech helmet love taps

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

Then the Blues scored.  We have this nasty habit of letting in late game goals when we seem to have the game under control.

I guess we just need to make it exciting for the fans?

Know what is exciting?  A hat trick.

Whitney?

Empty net goal.  Hat trick.  Again.

Apparently, out secret plan is to supplement weak ticket sales by spiking the amount of hats we sell.  DEVIOUS!  I actually kind of feel bad for Whitney.  Uppy was my first hat trick AND I LOST MY MIND!!!!!!    Then I saw Stempniak’s and was ULTRA EXCITED!!!!  Then I saw Jovo’s and was like Wow!  Then I saw Fiddy’s and was like holy cow.  Then I saw Whitney’s and it doesn’t even warrant capital letters in my blog.  And you people know I use capital letters pretty freely.

Sorry Ray Ray.

Attractive new guy, real attractive :|

So we won!  Yay!

Let’s look at some stats:

Radim Vrbata 1 goal, 2 assists.  <3 Vrby!

Ray Whitney 3 goals, 2 assists.  Halfway out of the doghouse. (And you thought Tippett was a hardass)

Martin Hanzal 1 goal, 6 hits, lead all forwards with 21:08 time on ice.  The Monster returneth!

Lauri Korpikoski:  17:14 time on ice.  I am so freaking proud of Korps.  He  used to hover around 10 to 13 minutes of ice time but he’s worked super hard and has earned more and more time.  WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO KORPS!

The Uh-Oh list:

Pyatt:  8:55 time on ice

Turris:  4:22 time on ice

Stafford: 9:07 time on ice

Lepisto: 9:47 time on ice

Turris needs to center a skill line.  4th line center is doing him no good cuz he’s not built for that.  Veteran D are doing the heavy lifting again and New Guy/Sami barely played.

Tippett being pissed about Backes kicking the goal in. The bench is apparently the only place you'll find a picture of Turris.

Doghouse:  Tippett.

Pressbox Jailbreak List:  Prucha :( :( :( :(  I’ll maim Pyatt and you’ll be in, ok Pru?

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