AMBER ALERT: OLIVER EKMAN-LARSSON HAS BEEN ABDUCTED

THE BABY HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED!  AMBER ALERT!  AMBER ALERT!

WE ARE LOOKING FOR A 6’2, 188LB 19 YEAR OLD WHO SPEAKS SWEDISH.  WE HAVE  A LEAD THAT SUGGESTS THAT HE WAS ABDUCTED TO THE SAN ANTONIO AREA!  IF YOU SEE THIS BOY, PLEASE CALL ME IMMEDIATELY.  HE MUST BE RETURNED TO PHOENIX AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS CHILD?

UGH I AM SO FREAKING PISSED.  YES, THIS WHOLE BLOG POST WILL BE IN CAPS BECAUSE I AM YELLING IT AT YOU.

REALLY TIPPETT/GMDM?  REALLY?  YOU SEND OEL DOWN?  OVER SCHELM?  WHY NOT KEEP THE DMEN UP?  OH WAIT YOU REPLACED OEL WITH SOME DOUCHEBAG EX-RED WING.  A RED WING.  HOW DARE YOU DISGRACE OUR TEAM WITH AN EX- RED WING?!?!!?!?!

MOTHERFREAKING DISGUSTING

YOU SEND DOWN TIKHONOV AND BOEDKER.  YOU SEND DOWN BB GONCH.  WHY DON’T YOU JUST SEND DOWN THE CZECHS AND BRING UP BB GOALIE TO SAN ANTONIO SO I CAN JUST GO THERE TO SEE MY TEAM?

IF OEL STAYS IN THE AHL FOR MORE THAN A COUPLE GAMES, SOMEONE IS GETTING SHANKED UP IN THIS HOUSE.  TIPPETT HAS A REP FOR DISLIKING YOUNG PLAYERS AND IF YOU LOOK AT OUR ROSTER, IT DOES NOT DISSUADE ME FROM AGREEING WITH THIS.

I HATE YOU TIPPETT.  GMDM, I AM CHOOSING TO BELIEVE THAT YOU HAD LESS TO DO WITH THIS.

OEL BETTER BE BACK IN PHOENIX BY THANKSGIVING OR I WILL DRIVE TO SAN ANTONIO AND BRING HIM BACK MYSELF.

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5 Responses to AMBER ALERT: OLIVER EKMAN-LARSSON HAS BEEN ABDUCTED

  1. Bri says:

    I was raging too!! I would love to help you take him back!!!

  2. Pingback: Tweets that mention AMBER ALERT: OLIVER EKMAN-LARSSON HAS BEEN ABDUCTED | The Good, The Bad, The Coyotes -- Topsy.com

  3. Bonnie says:

    As much fun as it was watching him play and screaming Olly Olly Ekman Free, I really hope he is back in PHX by Thanksgiving. If he’s not, I plan on grabbing him and stowing him in my luggage. I just can’t promise I won’t take him back to SA when I leave.

  4. David Cosand says:

    This, yes… but uh… there was also a game last night against the Calgary Flames and we won. Without Doan or OEL. First win “streak” of the season, and Czech line is 2-0. And the Pack is back, Jack. And we found out that if we just AVOID drawing penalties so we don’t even GO on the powerplay then we will win.

    This is the new normal. OEL will be back.

  5. Nicole says:

    Ummm… Staffy’s really nice…. Who cares what teams he’s played for? (Don’t kill me for saying that, I don’t really like Detroit either :I My dad’s from there… :P)

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